Abundant Blessings !! A Story for Thanksgiving...

I had spent way too many Thanksgiving Day's in the past toiling , rushing around, being angry and not stopping to appreciate what should be the "Theme" of the day, which is simply "Giving Thanks". It had always bothered me that my husband and I didn't have a large extended family in which to celebrate this Holiday with.
Every year, while my children were little, I asked my parents if they would like to come to our home and have Thanksgiving Dinner with us, and every year we were turned down. After awhile I began to become bitter about this.
You see, my husband's family all lived in California while my children were growing up and we lived on the Family owned farm here in Pa. My mother had become sick while I was a teen and died at the age of 38 when I was 15 years old. During my early childhood, though, I have the fondest of memories, of both sides of my mother's and father's family gathering each Holiday, with Thanksgiving being no exception. Grandmothers , Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and the intermittent close family friends that had nowhere else to go on special days such as this, gathered in our home, while my Mother ( the wonderful hostess and best cook in the world) made a feast fit for 100 Kings and Queens and we all felt more like stuffed piggies when the meal was finished. The laughter , closeness, and family ties and traditions were something I yearned for in those early days raising my own large family of 5 children on the Farm. For whatever reason, I still don't fully understand , but have since forgiven, my Father had a hard time sitting through any extended time period with my not so rowdy, but very animated and active brood. He had married a woman right after my Mother's death, that at first I resented but had grown to love and respect as the years went by. She was the closest thing I would have to a mother and she was supportive and loving. But she had 2 elderly parents and her and my Father chose to spend every Thanksgiving in their company with a quiet sit down dinner , sans screaming kids, spilled drinks and sibling squabbles amongst 5 close in age young children.
For the first few years, I would ask in quiet anticipation, expecting that maybe this would be the year they would say yes, and I would actually have a real Family get together, not just a larger version of almost every day's dinner meal with my own husband and children, like any other day. After the kids got to be in their pre-teens and teens, I asked purely out of respect and habit, knowing full well what the answer would be, and every Thanksgiving was just a newer version of the one before it. I went through the motions, baked my pies, even making pumpkin pies from scratch from the pumpkins I grew in my very own garden one year. But every year it was the same hurt and sorrow and pining for something that was never to be.
While I was still a teenager at home, after my mother's death, my Father and Stepmother distanced our family from my Mother's side, and after high school, I was so busy with my own growing family and the hard work on the farm, that I didn't have alot of contact with even my Father's side. So, I was lonely in my heart, even as I was surrounded by my loving Husband and my wonderful, funny, sweet children. I pretended to be happy, well even that I didn't do all too well. Some years , I had moments with tears and something that closely resembled grieving for the loss of something, a time I remembered and wanted to share something similar to with my own children, and the loss of another year that went by, opportunity once again gone forever. I still feel the sting in my chest as I write this, and the burning of tears welling up in my eyes typing out this story, but at the same time, I feel an excitement,anticipation as I come to the conclusion of my story.
I now am the proud parent of 6 children, my youngest being a "surprise" when my youngest at that time was 9 years old. I am so blessed to be the Grandmother to 7 boys and 1 girl and even 2 "adopted" little Grandsons and 1 "adopted" Granddaughter.( Children from my children's spouses previous relationships).
These children are the funniest, most lively loving and affectionate bunch. I love them, I love everything about them. They make me laugh , they make me crazy and they make me happier than I could have imagined I could be.
It was a few years ago , one Thanksgiving Day, that was especially hectic, I was hot, tired, frustrated and trying by myself, to make the feast like I remembered in my childhood for my family of adult children and their children. I even had the "close family friend" part in there, with a friend of mine that had recently divorced and a friend of my husbands that was in a similar situation.
The house was a cacophony of voices and noises and wonderful smells that are associated only with this very special day. I was just finishing up and was ready to make my Famous gravy. You see, my family LOVES my gravy. And the juices from the bird were just being poured through a strainer, on it's way to the pan that would contain this wonderful, flavorful delight. Until, ...the turkey slid to the end of the pan I was pouring from and into the pan I was pouring into, and it knocked every last bit of broth all over the stove, the floor and my counter top. No, you may think you know how I felt, but to me it was like Michelangelo being forced to watch his David sculpture smashed to bits. I screamed, I cried, yes I used some vulgarities ( ashamed to admit) and then I resolved myself to come up with a solution to the problem.I began to take parts of the Turkey that I knew would just become the broth to be used when we ran out of my first batch of gravy. Leftovers from this one particular special meal, are enjoyed almost as much in my family, as the original. I always, IMMEDIATELY, strip the meat from the bones after dinner and cook the skin and the bones from the turkey with a bit of chicken bullion, for quite awhile and set aside for the second batch of gravy to pour over the following day's meals of leftovers. Well, I would not have a large second batch of gravy this year...I just had to make do, and quickly cook some of the skin and the wings and neck and tail, rushing it along with the flame on extra high until I was satisfied that enough flavor was in the broth to make at least an "acceptable" version of my famous gravy. It all worked out fine. The gravy was actually quite good and only the most discerning taste buds could tell it wasn't my well loved "first batch" gravy.
My older Daughter and Daughter in Law, were there, Thank God, to sop up the mess from the spill while I scrambled to make the "second batch" gravy for our much anticipated meal.
It was after all this madness, while I was hollering to my smaller Grandchildren over the voices of their noisy Aunts and Uncles, inquiring as to what they would like on their plates, that it hit me. "I was now being Blessed , after so many years of sorrow and hurt, Blessed One Hundred fold, no.... Two Hundred Fold .... I had my large family Gathering I yearned for all those years.The closeness, the laughter, the craziness.... I was now making memories and traditions that my Adult children and their children will look back on with fondness. I never was quite sure if it made any difference to my children as they were growing up, when I made the gravy to perfection, or whipped the potatoes up to just the right consistency, or softened the butter just right so it would spread on the warm dinner rolls instead of ripping them. I doubted that kids, just young kids would care if I never strayed from my much loved regimen and ingredients in the stuffing for the bird, or whether I put real butter and brown sugar in my yams instead of margarine. But...they did care. They do care and they remember all those years, the large wonderful meals I cooked them so lovingly, even if my heart was hurting and I was fully appreciating what I had right in front of me. They remember the sounds, the smells and the fun we had amongst ourselves and now we are all sharing and passing on these little traditions and moments to another Generation. So, when the table is full of food and hungry children and adults alike, and we bow our heads to Thank the Giver of all good things, for all we have and all He has done, I know in my heart, these moments make Thanksgiving what it should be. A day set aside to honor God , enjoy Family and make new memories and Thanks to Him, to soothe hurts of the past with the Abundant Blessings of the present.